One of the hardest things about blending a family after divorce and then remarriage is trying to figure out new family rules, especially those involving discipline. The rules your kids are used to are not likely the same rules the other children had. How do you create a unified blended family and prevent chaos and confusion? Who is in charge of disciplining and how does that work? These are some tips that helped my spouse and I navigate this tricky territory in our blended family, along with other tips that I’ve found that I wish I had know back then. We have now been married five years and we and our kids have come a long way. Things are far from perfect, but time and effort creates great progress.
When you fall in love with someone that has kids, there’s an extra challenge added into the marriage. How do you connect and possibly love your new stepchildren? While most newlyweds have at least a year or two to get to know each other as husband and wife before they start a family together, your marriage comes with kids in tow. Although this will be challenging, it’s something you can manage if you have the right expectations and are willing to work for the results you want.
Here’s some tips that helped me and my husband navigate our first few years together as stepparents:
1. Realize that not everybody loves their stepchildren right away, and that’s ok! You and the kids need to get to know each other and build your relationship slowly. Love is not an automatic response for most people. You may not feel love for a long time, but you can act in a loving, kind manner like you want to be treated.